What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?

Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) refers to a specific type of therapy in which an individual seeks the help of both a licensed therapist and a surrogate partner in order to overcome obstacles preventing them from creating and sustaining healthy intimate relationships.

A surrogate partner is just that—a surrogate or stand-in partner. When talk therapy alone hasn’t brought relief in issues of relationships and intimacy, SPT can be a great option. Knowing how to do something in the mind and truly experiencing it are two very different things. SPT harnesses the power of experiential learning alongside traditional therapy to maximize the opportunity for growth and change. Critically, a surrogate partner is also a trained, patient, nonjudgmental, ethical professional there to support the client’s therapy on a time-limited basis. By utilizing a surrogate partner, a safe space can be created for practicing healthy relationships and all that they entail. We strive to teach and practice the skills for flourishing in relationships, as well as to create integral experiences of safety and acceptance.

SPT has a long history with its roots in the successful methods for the treatment of sexual concerns developed by Masters and Johnson in their foundational research. In this research, Masters and Johnson found that hands-on therapeutic exercises carried out together with one’s partner greatly increased rate of success in addressing their concerns. While this method was extremely beneficial to the treatment process, it became apparent that partners, even when available, may not be able to carry out this highly nuanced work. In addition, many who would benefit from such experiential skill-building faced barriers to finding a partner due to these same barriers to intimacy.

Based on these insights, and using the therapeutic and skill-building techniques, Masters and Johnson began exploring the use of trained surrogates as an adjunct to individual therapy. In 1973, IPSA (International Professional Surrogates Association) was created to train the surrogate partners using these time-tested methods. Just as the fields of sex and relationship therapy have continued to evolve in the decades since—incorporating insights on trauma, anxiety, arousal, attachment, mindfulness, sexual and gender diversity, and more—the field of SPT has evolved alongside it.